BVB's Windsormaker Predictions

(Club Bristol, CT) Luckily the budget cuts at ESPN didn’t include coverage of the most prestigious golf tournament on the planet THE WINDSORMAKER.  Without further ado here are BVB’s picks for the first round of the tournament:

Patronas/DeRoche  vs.  Malloy/Gauer

This year’s top ranked matchup is a very intriguing as two rookies face off against the Boat Shoe Bros from Eden Prairie.  The two male fur models (cannot confirm this fact, but I’ve heard everyone from Duluth is a fur model, at least part time) will have their hands full, but if they are hanging with Nate at Ridgeview, I at least know there livers will be ready for the day. 

BVB’s PICK: Halved

N. Lehmann/ Cartier vs. Heim/Haskins

Heim and Haskins had some magic working last year as they went 2-0.  The lone bright spot of Captain Gabriel’s highly scrutinized pairing selections from last year.  Although to be fair to Blake, when you draft as poorly as he does it does limit your options.  Nate had a rough Windsomaker match up last year against these two so he recruited another Duluthian to take them out.  Make no mistake, its not revenge Nate is after.  It’s a reckoning.  

BVB’s PICK:  Nate/Cartier

Hanson/Schomberg vs. Gabriel/Burnham

#1 ranked Affliction Dragon player and Captain Blake continues to hide from the pressures of top ranked match ups and partners with Burnham to take on Ross Sheehy and Hanson.  This strategy has not paid off in recent years, but Ross has finally been shackled so he will no longer be worrying about whether or not the waitress from the Country Kitchen is going to call him during the tourney. 

BVB’s PICK:  Halved

Z. Lehmann/THE HAWK vs Colin Quinn/Jivey

America’s best leader and Americas favorite software slinger have a near rematch of their first round landslide victory from last year.  The only difference is Blake traded out Kitty’s favorite son for the older Jordan.  Folks, I see another blood bath brewing.

BVB’s PICK:  Zach/The Hawk

McCabe/Mivey vs. Gatorade Ben/Scoops

Kittys #1 Son and Rookie Mcabe take on the villains of the Windsormaker.  Benny has been putting out more bulletin board material than Lavar Ball in recent weeks, and Scoops has slowly been raising insurance rates on half the field.  Going to be tough for Team Lehmann in this one.  Scoops will be showing off his new gear (not sure if you heard of Jailbreak Technology before folks), and Ben will be sharing his ideas for Frozen 2.  Tough break for the rookie, im guessing he jumps into the pond next to 9 green at the turn with cement shoes to put himself out of his misery.

BVBs PICK:  Ben/Scoops due to W/D (drowning)

Korbel/Bwandon vs. Vern/Cuskey

Little worried about the good guys in this one.  Hopefully they dutch rudder each other while looking at their muskellunge pics early in the round, so they can get back to playing golf.  “The Law” will be motivated in this one after seeing his draft stock drop once again this year.

BVB’s PICK:  Korbel/Bwandon

Eddie/BVB vs. Drunkstin/Davey

Ladies and gentleman this will be one for the ages.  So many questions for Captain Blake on this pairing:

How many bottles of Windsor will get drank?

Will either be able to play the second 18?

Will either be able to even play the back nine? 

Will Eddie and Bryce win 5&4 or 4&3?

How many golf carts will be wrecked by these two? 

Its BVB’s first time on Team Lehmann in many years, and he has fit in nicely from the start.  Word from sources with ties to the Team Gabriel camp is that many felt BVB’s bad boy image was not a fit for the high strung squad.  Some people are just born for the Dark Side. 

The Pick: BVB/Eddie

Lunde/Scotty V vs. Jake/Rich Lee

Probably going to be the most courteous matchup in the history of the Windsormaker.  This is the group we put in the middle to make sure the cart girls don't quit after the first two hours of the day.  One team would win this match-up, but I am guessing they stop at 18 green, shake hands and do the gentlemanly thing and call it a draw.  

The Pick:  Draw

Big E/Billy V vs. Stahl/Pederson

Spooner vs Stout in this electric match-up.  How will the Stout Brah’s react when they run into the smoothest swing in the Ryder Cup.  The crows will be roostin to see who wins this one!

The Pick:  Big E/Billy V

Neil O/Craig vs. Buschy/Butt

Windsormaker Hero Craig teams up with the crafty Duluthian to take on the senior citizens of the tournament.  Get the manpons ready for those two for the second round.

The Pick:  Neil/ Craig

p.s.  (Bushy it wasn’t you it was me) 

Well folks there you have it, looks like the first round is setting up for another Team Lehmann blood bath.  Team Blake will be sitting on the patio scrambling to put together a hail mary for the second round once again.  On a personal level it feel good to be liberated from the tight grasps of Captain Blake.  After years of being shackled and held back, its time for a break thru Windsormaker for myself.  I'm looking forward to a fun victorious weekend and the begining of the new reign of the New Windsormaker Order, where I can do hoodrat things with my friends!