Windsomaker Odds

The hours are counting down until the greatest spectacle in drinking and doucheorcracy on Earth begins.  Stakes are higher than ever as the Affliction Dragons look to defend their crown.  Zach's Red Army had dreams of a three peat, but not unlike the other famous Red Army, were undone by poor leadership and logistical issues.  In an attempt to shake things up Zachary has unveiled a uniform change.  His squad will come to battle wearing Gray, the same colors as the Confederate Army.  Although appropriate, looking at the cast of characters on his squad, I am anticipating a similar fate, once the boys in blue are done with them.  Lets break things down and map out how emancipation will prevail. 

Heim/Haskins vs. Scott O/Nate L (-110)
The Reb's annual opening pair finally got the PVC monkey off their back by pushing the Dragons captain to a draw last year.  The slight favorites look to build on that momentum. 

T Schmidt/Jivy (-110) vs. Korbel/Shartberg 

Schomburg is the wild card in this group.  Since his tunnel buddy Drunkstin is serving a  one year suspension from the cup (due to incident in Omaha involving a bottle of Windsor, a steer, a cornstalk, and the center of the Nebraska Women's basketball team) he may stay sober enough on Friday to be a low scorer on Saturday.  It looks like rain in the forecast though, and thanks to a summer of love with a clepto in Alaska, Jivy has all the rain gear one could ever need to stay dry.

Lunde/Eddie (-150) vs. Adam S/Stahl

Interesting matchup decision by Captain Zach, as he may have blew his talent wad by teaming up these two in the second tier.  It will leave holes in his other matchups to come.  Also special congrats to Ewik on his new daughter.  And also for having sex, nice work brother! 

Malloy/Gauer vs. Blake/Bwandon (-110)

Blake decided only he can be trusted with Bwandons sobriety for the second round, so they will take on the very strong squad from Team Zach.  I'm swinging it in Team Gabe's favor only for the rain factor.  If I know anything about EP boys, is once they get a little water in their boat shoes they start to get uptight.

Zachary L/The Hawk vs. Colin/Mivey (-110)

A little bromance was born a few years back between Mivey and Zachary.  Mivey no doubt is upset seeing him latch onto another EP bro so quickly.  Don't worry Mivey, Zach isn't marriage material anyways! 

Cuskey/Scoops (even) vs. Benny/Tim B

I feel like after this round, Scoops and Cuskey will have completed 4 insider trades and created a Ponzi scheme.  Benny will be looking to make some noise after serving his year long suspension (due to a incident with a animated snowman, a carrot, and a Trojan).

Neil /Craig (even) vs. Byers/Rich

Toss up in my mind.  This could be a tenacious matchup.  Rumors have Byers being a little rusty following his hiatus from golf while he was selling bibles for the Ted Cruz campaign. 

Missine/Jake (-110) vs. Sundeen, R/ Vogel, W

The spiritual leader of Zachs Johnny Rebs, Big E doesn't lose during the Ryder Cup.  Whether it be matches or putters, he's taking everything.  He may not go down in history, but he will go down on your sister.


Sundeen, T/ Vogel, S vs. BVB/BUSHY (-105) 

The band is getting back together for the Dragons!  The dynamic duo has had a rough patch following one of the most dominant runs in the history of Planet Earth, but after a year apart they are ready to right the ship. 

Scott G/ Buttlove vs. Davey and Jesse (off the board)

I think we are just going to pretend this matchup isn't happening.  We will pick up the dead bodies on our way back through for the second 18!